As new parents, we’re still learning how to make our money—and our merry—stretch a little further. What has miraculously transpired is that we’re a little less “perfectionist” about the holidays. The thing we love about a low-key mindset is it helps you see the magic where none existed before. One gift takes on more meaning. Time spent together becomes more important. The little unexpected moments become enough.

Staying mindful is a more sustainable form of joy, and a more pleasant way to get through the season. And it creates less pressure when splitting time between everyone who wants a piece of you. Which brings us to the question we never thought we’d get to ask again post-Covid: how do you begin to navigate the whirlwind of invitations from family and friends when you have your own life to hold together? Well, when it comes to sharing time, these new-era truths we hold self-evident:

You can let them come to you.

You don’t have to host a big feast of yore. Instead, there are movie marathons with hot cocoa and cookie bake-offs you can enjoy together.

You can host both families in your home at one time.

You can start new traditions—whatever you want, in fact.

You can plan a small town or big city getaway and have family or friends meet you at the airport, or the hotel, or somewhere completely crazy.

You don’t necessarily have to celebrate a holiday on the actual holiday. You can yell “plot twist!” and call for flexibility or even make the merry linger and last longer—all the way into January until you have to go back to work—if you want.

You can let navigating the chaos bring you closer together. Really.

Now, before you attempt any of these suggestions, we recommend sneaking in a date night (get dressed to go to the ballet?), or getting in a quiet dinner at home to ground you and then joining forces to get through it all. Make divvy-ing up the holidays a bonding experience and vow for less disruption and disagreements, less time stuck in the car, and more teamwork as a couple. You got this!